Title: He Knows Me
I have known what my subject for my next church talk would be
a very long time. In fact, the last two
years I have been formulating parts of it in my head. So, when Brother Major called and asked me to
give a talk, I was not surprised. But
when he assigned me a topic, I was! That
was not what this talk I have been working on in my head was about. So, I told him so!
He may have been a little surprised at my assertiveness, but
he was willing enough to let me think of a subject from conference that
inspired me and let him know what it would be.
So, that’s exactly what I did. I
listened to conference talks both old and new and found ones that fit with this
talk that has been in my head for years.
The talks I will be referencing come from President Uchtdorf, Sister Elaine
Dalton and Sister Sydney Reynolds. But
it’s going to take me a while to get to it because I want to tell you about my
Grandma Call first.
My Grandma Call was born and raised in a small
Wyoming town named Star Valley. Her full
name was Bessie Warren Call. She came
from a large family, married, and then built her own very large family. She was a beautiful lady and when she was
young had jet black hair and perfect skin.
When she was a grandma, she had brilliant white hair and perfectly tight
skin. She was ageless. In my earliest memories of her and my last
memories of her, she looks just the same.
Her life was filled with a great amount of physical
work. She was raised working on a farm
and then married a businessman and a farmer.
She had 14 children. Seven boys and seven girls. My father was the third oldest child.
She was a humble, non-pretentious lady. She was soft spoken and always smiling. She was quiet and observant.
Having 14 children, who then married and had large
families of their own, meant that I had lots and lots of cousins. In fact, I have 96 first cousins on my Call
family side. It also meant that Grandma
had that many grandkids! With this being
the case, I was raised with the idea that grandma had so many grandkids that
she didn’t know me. In fact, I often wondered
if she even knew my name or whose child I was. This was rather ironic because I lived less
than a mile away from my grandma…closer than any other grandchildren that she
had.
After raising her family, she moved to Logan with
my Grandpa and built many apartments.
Then they built a very simple one bedroom home and lived the duration of
their lives there.
I typically
saw my grandma about once every 2 years, for a 3 day family reunion. That would also be about the only time I
would see my cousins as well. The family
reunions were simply amazing and were something that we all looked forward to.
At these reunions I could see that some of my other
cousins had closer relationships with my grandma than I did. They would run to her, hug her, talk with her
and talk about her, which I never did.
Instead, I still held that strong belief that my grandma didn’t know me.
My grandma was a very frugal person and saved
everything and never wasted anything.
She never owned a car and never learned to drive. She was well kept, but rarely owned new
clothes. She never owed a debt. She saved every penny she earned.
By the time she was in her 80’s, she had saved a
lot of pennies and had a large estate in her name. She had many decisions to make about what to
do with that estate upon her passing. She
decided to use a large sum of it, not to hand out to her children or
grandchildren, but rather to build a dream family reunion venue so that
generations upon generations of Calls could continue to gather together.
Years of planning, and years of building went in to
this project. Family members spent
countless hours creating grandma’s perfect place on the Call Ranch. When finished, it was a gathering place that
had accommodations to cook food for over 300 people at a time. It had large open rooms, ping pong tables,
trampolines, play grounds, and an area large enough that all of us could gather
under one roof and be together. Best of
all, it had more bathrooms.
My grandma lived to the age of 95. The detail and work that went in to bringing
grandma’s dream together was completed the year before she passed away. She got to see her dream come to fruition as
more than 300 of her posterity joined in the inaugural reunion of the Call
barn.
I was there with my family for this event. I was a grown up, I had four children and
they were almost grown up too. I still
didn’t think my grandma knew me and as such, my children did not know her
either, and again, I could see the differences that existed in their
relationships.
Five years ago my grandmother passed away. Again, as the quiet lady that she was, she
left a legacy of strength, humility, dedication and gentleness that
radiated.
After her passing, her grown children gathered her
personal belongings and went through them in the years that followed. In doing so, they found the records that she had
so carefully kept. Then those records
were distributed to each of her 14 children, and one day when I went home to
Star Valley, I saw the records that were given to my dad.
The records were not financial or personal or even
about her; in fact they would be better labeled as scrapbooks. But those scrapbooks told me something very
different from what I had grown up believing my entire life. My grandma had kept scrapbooks of ME and of
each member of my family. Each of us had our own special section.
In my section, she had cut out every single time that
I had been in the newspaper. MY pictures
were in her book and MY name was underlined in any paragraph it appeared. Every time I made the honor roll, it was cut
out and my name was underlined. Drill
team, volleyball, church softball pictures, graduation pictures and my wedding
announcement.
Not only that, but every card or letter that I had
ever sent her was taped carefully onto each page. She had kept more detailed records of my life
than even my own mother had, and it was at that moment that I finally realized
that throughout all of these years that I had so fully doubted, that my grandma
DID KNOW ME. She knew me well. She watched me and she watched for me.
She was not intrusive, but she was very observant and I knew at that
moment that she did love me and that SHE KNEW ME more than I had understood.
As I reflected on the impact that this realization had on my
life, I continued to see this experience with my grandma very similar to what
our experience with our Heavenly Father may be. How often do we think that our Father
does not know us? How often can we think
that he is not aware? How often may we
feel that we are 1 of billions and billions of children that he simply could
not know who we are? How often have we
failed to pursue a personal relationship with Him? How often does he prove us wrong?
The titles of the three conference talks I have chosen speak
to this idea of how thoroughly our Heavenly Father knows us not as a whole, but
on a very individual and first name basis.
Each of these talks also have very similar titles. They are:
He Knows You by Name by
Sister Elaine Dalton, You Matter to Him
by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf and He
Knows Us; He Loves Us by Sister Sydney S. Reynolds.
One
of my favorite quotes from Sister Dalton’s talk, “He Knows You by Name” addresses how our Heavenly Father knows each
one of us by name.
She states: “Did
you know that Heavenly Father knows you personally-by name? The scriptures teach us that this is
true. When Enos went into the woods to
pray, he recorded, ‘There came a voice unto me, saying: Enos, they sins are
forgiven thee, and thou shalt be blessed.’
Moses not only prayed but also talked to God face to face and God said
to Moses, ‘I have a work for thee, Moses, my son’ the Lord knew Jacob’s name and changed it to
Israel to more accurately reflect his mission on the earth. Similarly, He changed the names of Paul and
Abraham and Sarah. In Doctrine and
Covenants, section 26, Emma Smith is given a blessing for her comfort and guidance
in life. The Lord begins that blessing
by saying, ‘Hearken unto the voice of the Lord your God, while I speak unto
you, Emma Smith, my daughter.”
You
may not have heard the Lord call you by name, but He knows each one of you and
he knows your name. Elder Neal A.
Maxwell said: “I testify to you that God
has known you individually for a long, long time. He not only knows the names of all the stars;
He knows your names and all your heartaches and your joys!”
Sister
Reynolds makes the same point in her conference talk, He Knows Us; He Loves Us”, when she describes the simple prayer of
a 14 year old boy:
“Joseph
Smith at age 14 had to be one of the least conspicuous human beings on the
earth, and yet the God of heaven knew him and called him by name in the Sacred
Grove. “
She
went on to say, “The Lord not only knows who we are, He knows where we are, and
He knows who needs our help .”
How often have our prayers been answered? How often have we felt an inspiration? How often have we plead with Him when we have
felt there is no place else to turn? How
often have we felt peace? How often has
He picked us up when we have felt like we have failed Him? How often has he reminded us that He loves us? He is watching us. He is aware of us. He knows us.
Each and every one.
Much like my Grandma did when she used her life savings to
build a wonderful place for us to come each year to be reunited as a family,
our Father in Heaven has done so as well.
He has created a beautiful plan that will bring us home. Bring us back to Him. For this is His work and His glory. This is what He desires most. Just as a loving parent or grandparent would
do anything for their child or grandchildren, our Father in Heaven and Savior
did the same. Giving the ultimate gift
of salvation and eternal life.
In
his talk, You Matter to Him,
President Uchdorf states, “Brothers and sisters, the most powerful Being in the
universe is the Father of your spirit.
He knows you. He loves you with a
perfect love. God sees you not only as a
mortal being on a small planet that lives for a brief season---
God
Himself said that we are the reason He created the universe! His work and glory—the purpose for this
magnificent universe---is to save and exalt mankind. In other words, the vast expanse of eternity,
the glories and mysteries of infinite space and time are all built for the
benefit of ordinary mortals like you and me.
He
sees you as His child. He sees you as
the being you are capable and designed to become. He wants you to know that you matter to HIM.
Satan
will try to make us believe that we do not matter to the Lord. “He attempts to focus our sight on our own
insignificance until we begin to doubt that we have much worth. (Much like I had doubts that my Grandma even
knew me.) Satan tells us that we are too small for anyone to take notice that
we are forgotten—especially by God.”
In my experience of gaining an understanding of my
grandmother’s love for me, I have gained a deeper understanding of my Heavenly
Father’s love as well. Through watching
my grandmother’s quiet works as she saved every penny, cut out every picture
and shared her legacy, I gradually learned that what mattered most to her was ME.
This same message finally struck me a year ago as I was privileged
to be with Shalon and Greg Reynold’s as they went through the temple. Though I’ve listened and participated in the
temple ordinances for almost 30 years now, it wasn’t until watching them that I
finally realized that every covenant
and ordinance that we are given in the temple is a gift from the Lord. It is His way, of giving us all that he has
to offer. The Apostle Paul stated: “Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither
have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them
that love him.”
Through my knowledge of the Plan of Salvation and the
Atonement, I am again reminded that what matters most to the Lord is ME. “The worth of souls is great in the sight of
the Lord.” The worth of your soul and my
soul. Everything that the Lord has done
is done with a singular purpose. To
bring us back home to Him.
Much like my Grandma Call wanted to leave a legacy that would
bring her family back home; the Lord desires the same on a much
larger scale. And, much like my Grandma,
He is quiet, He is watchful, He is observant.
He knows us. He knows our joys
and our sorrows. He knows my name and
your name. He has promised us all that
He has. Our job is more fully build a
relationship with Him.
President Uchdorf states:
Since “God is love,” the closer we approach Him, the more profoundly we
experience love. Heaven may seem distant
at times, the scriptures offer hope: “Ye
shall see me and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your
heart.”
Reflecting back on the scrapbook pages that my grandmother
had saved of me, I was saddened by the fact that I had not searched more
diligently and built a stronger relationship with her. I was somewhat embarrassed that she didn’t
have more Christmas cards, and thank you cards and letters just to keep in
touch. I realize that I do not want to
have those same regrets with my Heavenly Father who also watches, waits, is
aware, and is always available and ready.
For the Lord has promised, “Ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall
search for me with all your heart.”
So what can I do?
I can pray. I can
listen. I can read scriptures. I can look at this beautiful world. I can serve. I can remember that I am his
child and that he loves me. I can be
mindful of him at all times and know that he is mindful of me. I can recognize his mercies and I can feel the
love that so fully surrounds me…and KNOW!
In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
